speaking in terms of....life
 
a run-on collage of quotes, poetry, thoughts, and journaling from my life.
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Tuesday, March 05, 2002

   
speaking in terms of...blah.

i dont really have anything to write about today tho i feel like writing because i found a couple really good quotes. anyone who knows me know i love quotes... i'd collect them if there was such a thing (even tho i guess you could say i collect them since i store all of them away in a saved file). anyways, i came across these today and really liked them.

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." - Ingrid Bergman

"Give me my Romeo; and, when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night."- Romeo and Juliet

i love these. just thought i'd share them. btw: we found a house we like today. it's awesome.


posted by Elyse 3/05/2002 07:10:00 PM


Sunday, March 03, 2002

   
speaking in terms of... those we love.

i've been having a rough time lately. i'm sick [w/ what i think could be phenmonia (sp?)]. i'm helping two friends out with very very difficult situations and i'm trying to deal with these stupid ass feelings that won't get the hell out of my head. i have told myself over and over again i can't do this anymore, i don't want to do this anymore yet my heart keeps pulling my mind right back to him. hes not the one for me, and as perfect as we could be together, we are not meant to be if it hasn't happened over these last 8 months. i'm at such a loss it's becoming physically draining. my whole body just aches from the pain. i just don't know what to do.
posted by Elyse 3/03/2002 08:00:00 PM


Saturday, March 02, 2002

   
speaking in terms of...possibility.

I haven't written in awhile. Partially because I haven't had too much to write about. But last night I caught a hint of possibility in my love's voice. We were talking online, for a good while. He has been referring to my visiting him at college a lot lately and he always adds things like, "we'll have fun together" or "just wait till we get trashed together", etc etc. He adds in hints like something might happen between us. I believe it. We are going out together tonight- possibly just the two of us if Beth can't go. He doesn't mind either. He has been emailing me back immediately every time, talking to me a lot more than in the past. I don't know, maybe that time off that we took, that time away from talking helped. Maybe my backing down, him thinking I don't like him anymore has helped. Or maybe I am still making everything up in my head and he's just being a friend. Somehow I can't shake that it's more though. I talked to another one of his roommates last night. He asked me to go into a chat room with him and his roommate. Adam, his roommate, told me he's heard a lot about me. Second roommate to say that. It's kind of funny too, they all think I'm 19. I wonder if I would be any different at 19... if I really were that age now. But I can fake it, no big deal. Alright, I'm done... my sporatic thoughts are terminated temporarily.
posted by Elyse 3/02/2002 01:39:00 PM


Monday, February 25, 2002

   
speaking in terms of...feedback.

I just wanted to put my email address out there so maybe I'll get some feedback. if you have anything to say to me my email address is bsbextreme@hotmail.com.
posted by Elyse 2/25/2002 03:23:00 PM


Sunday, February 24, 2002

   
speaking in terms of...love.

wow, ok so... i saw him last night. we went out. i went to his house first to wait for another friend to come. he opened the door, smiled, and opened his arms to give me a hug. i was astounded. he doesn't give hugs on just random occassions. he likes to save them for when the are "truly needed". but he gave me a hug and it felt oh so good. (i got a total of four last night!!) then he told me i looked nice and brought me upstairs to his room. and ya know? last night i was the happiest girl on earth once again. i sat on his bed and watched him make a photo collage of all of his college friends and i don't think i could have been much happier. he's just one of those people you can't take your eyes off. every facial expression, every movement is unique to him. i have studied them so carefully- i have them engrained in my mind. but it's so much nicer seeing them in front of me, for my own, real and alive. when we talked, we'd make sporatic eye contact, only because i think i couldn't look at him for too long at a time while he was looking at me. that love i have for him overcomes me and i stop remembering what i was trying to say. and when beth came, we sat in his room for a little longer while he showered (in record time). i left him a note in his suitcase for when he goes back to school. then we went to applebee's. i met his brother's fiance who he hates. it was interesting watching them fake getting along- watching him fake it more than jenny. but it was cute all the less. you could just see him look away and answer, "uh huh, uh huh" and know that he was not happy. or maybe i was the only one.

we went back to his house after we ate, and like we did last time, we sat and talked for 2 hours in his living room. his cats bother my allergies, but i didn't notice it once. i was too wrapped up in him. i'm still sneezing this morning from them. i take it as a little reminder of him. i take everything as a little reminder of him.

so... yes. i'm pathetic. i am head over heels, never will get over, completely and utterly in love with him. when i'm with him i love it, when i'm not with him i hate it. i don't know what i'm going to do...
posted by Elyse 2/24/2002 12:47:00 PM


Friday, February 22, 2002

   
Um... speaking in terms of... Benet Acadmey's Girl's bball team... We won, hell yeah. We beat Central. It's not time to demolish Nequa and onto State we go! GOOOO LADY REDWINGS!
posted by Elyse 2/22/2002 12:45:00 AM


Thursday, February 21, 2002

   
ok so speaking in terms of... bad days. somehow i currently am in a better mood than i have been in the last few days yet it was a terrible day at school. i knew it would be too. i was walking in and spilled coffee (which i get MAYBE once a week mind you) down my entire shirt and pants. but surprisingly right now, i'm doing better. i think because i snapped out of the being worried stage and am now just ready to see him. i don't care anymore. and if i do, there's not a damn thing i can do about it so i might as well pretend i don't care. who the hell knows, maybe he will see me and realize he's missed me, a lot. then again he might see me and be like, ah yes, the girl i dont ever really miss. but such is the way life goes. i have been spending too much time lately worrying over such things. homework has definitely taken the back burner... not like i really care cuz senioritis hit me before i even became a senior but, even still... i should be doing something other than sitting in my room writing about how my life sucks and my love is unrequited. because i don't necessairly think those things... i just get in those moods- easily. anyways... go Benet girls basketball team! we better kick central's ass tonight. we are going to state this year, that's all there is to it. i'm off to go cheer for it... girls game? yes, yes the girls. strange as it may be for all of us sheltered benet children to understand, girls can play sports and be supported for it too. haha...
posted by Elyse 2/21/2002 05:33:00 PM


 
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